Drinking too much.
Over or under eating.
Sitting for hours and hours in front of the television or your
mobile phone and computer on social media.
Withdrawing from friends, family and structured (potentially
Using tablets or drugs over a long period of time to relax and
take you away from the powerful stressful feelings.
Sleeping too much.
Always finding yourself procrastinating over the simplest task
Being a workaholic and filling up every minute of the day to
avoid facing issues or problems.
Taking out your stress on others by lashing out, angry outbursts
or in some cases physical violence.
Time to make some all important
1) AVOID UNNECESSARY STRESS
Learn how to say 'NO' -
what I am focusing on here is your knowing your limits and then
learning how to stick to them. If in your personal or your professional
life taking on more than you can comfortably handle is one of
the key elements of anxiety and the resulting stress as well
as natural associated feelings of anger then you need to start
taking back control.
Avoid people who are, as I term it 'psychic vampires', draining
your energy and always creating energetic and mental imbalance
- so, if someone consistently causes you stress and you can't
turn the relationship round to one of a more balanced nature
either limit the amount of time that you spend with them or
end the relationship entirely.
Take control of YOUR world
example if the evening news makes you anxious or social media
does the same turn off the TV or computer. If journeys in traffic
make you tense take another route. If, at present, going shopping
with people milling around you makes you feel overly anxious,
do your shopping online.
Manage or regulate certain ideas
and conversations -
example if you get upset over religion or politics take them
completely out of your conversation. If you are finding that
you repeatedly argue about the same topics with the self same
people time and time again excuse yourself from the discussion.
Realistic and unrealistic to
do listing -
your schedule and responsibilities and daily tasks and once
you see how much you have said yes to clear out the should's
and only focus on the musts . Drop tasks that aren't necessary
to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
2) ALTER THE SITUATIONS
lets live in the real world and recognise how there are certain
stressful situations that we can't avoid. So if you can't avoid
a situation then try to alter what happens in such a situation
and this approach is often based on changing the way you communicate
both with yourself as well as other people and operate in your
day to day life.
Express your feelings instead
of bottling them up
something or someone is creating stress communicate your concerns
in an open and respectful way. Clearly if you don't voice your
feelings then naturally resentment will build and the situation
will remain the same.
Be willing to compromise
you ask someone to change their behaviour, also be willing to
change your behaviour as well. If you and the other person are
willing to bend a little then there is a foundation for you
both to find a middle ground.
Be more assertive
with problems and issues head on by doing your best to anticipate
and prevent them growing out of control. If you need to work
on an important project and your friend is talking away oblivious
to this fact tell them clearly that you only have five minutes
Manage your time better
time management can be the basis of stress and resulting anxiety.
When your mind is stretched too thin and your'e running behind
on projects it is naturally hard to stay calm and focused. So
if you plan ahead and make sure you create realistic goals you
can directly alter the degree of stress.
3) ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR
what we are exploring here is that if it isn't possible to change
the stressful event or situation then we focus on changing how
we respond to it. Here you can adapt to a stressful situation
and regain some sense of control by changing both your expectations
and your attitude.
you perspective and view the situation to a more positive viewpoint.
For example rather than sit in the car and become more and more
stressed in regard to the traffic jam ahead look at this as
a period of time to pause and reflect, listen to a favourite
radio programme or enjoy some down time on your own in the car.
See and explore the bigger picture
a different perspective on the situation and ask yourself how
important the key elements being reflected back at this moment
in time relate to you in the long run. Will it matter in a month
- a year and so is it really worth getting this upset over the
situation? If the answer is no, then focus both your time and
Shift and adjust your standards and view on life
and living it
is a major source of stress and something that we all, to varying
degrees, need to explore. Essentially what I am saying is for
you to stop setting yourself up for failure upon failure by
demanding perfection. Set some reasonable standards for yourself,
others and situations you encounter and learn to repeat saying
that you are OK with 'good enough'.
Consciously focus on positive elements
a moment or two to reflect on all the things which you currently
appreciate in your life including your own unique qualities.
This simple but effective strategy can help regulate and keep
things in perspective.
ADJUSTING YOUR ATTITUDE
you are aware the way in which we think on a day to day basis
can often have a profound effect on both our emotional and physical
well being. Our negative thoughts have a powerful effect on
our physical body creating a reaction which mimics the fight
or flight response.
you find key parts of your life where you feel good about yourself
you are more able to challenge and eliminate such words which
we are constantly bombarded with in Western Society such as
"always," "never," "should," and
"must." which are the keys to self defeating thoughts.
4) ACCEPT THE THINGS THAT YOU
some sources of stress and resulting anxiety reaction in our
lives are unavoidable. In fact from my extensive clinical experience
natural and therefore healthy responses where we go through
a recovery process include the death of a loved one or response
to either serious or chronic illness.
Don't try to control the uncontrollable
things in our life are beyond our control - particularly when
it comes to the behaviour of other people. So focus on the things
that you can control such as the way you choose to react to
See the benefit from an experience
facing major challenges, see the opportunities within them for
personal growth. Also if you hold on to old and outdated ways
of approaching issues which don't work any longer reflect and
learn new ways of thinking and responding.
Share your feelings
to a trusted friend face to face or make an appointment so we
can discuss. The simple act of expressing what you are going
though can be cathartic, even if there is nothing you can do
to alter the stressful situation. Opening up and exploring your
thinking and feeling world is not a sign of weakness as many
people judge it to be. In fact, most friends will be flattered
that you trust them enough to confide in them and it strengthens
the bond between the two of you.
Learn to forgive
many of us accept that we live in an imperfect world and that
people we know make mistakes. Work through and then let go even
if it is in your mind of anger and resentments and by freeing
yourself from such negative energy you can forgive and then
rapidly move on.
5) CREATE TIME IN YOUR LIFE ON
A REGULAR BASIS FOR FUN, EXPLORATION, ALIGNMENT AND RELAXATION
taking charge of areas of our life and creating and sustaining
a more positive, balanced attitude we need to nurture ourselves.
HEALTHY WAYS TO RELAX AND RECHARGE
go for a
walk which is a time for reflection and in such isolation we
can hear our own voice far more clearly.
spend time in nature which is a great way of putting day to
day life into a broader and thereby more expansive way of viewing
call a good friend and be honest about what it is that you wish
to talk to them about. Listen to what they have to say and reflect
back to you at this all important time in your life.
sweat out the tension at a physical level with a good workout
write in a journal (links to some of my journals)
take a long bath and set aside time to relax both physically
as well as mentally.
light scented candles and once again use this time to block
out some of the intrusive thoughts and allow your inner self
to have its own voice which you hear more clearly.
get a massage for the impact of stress is powerfully stored
up in our body and it is not always clear until such physical
tension is released the degree of impact that it has been in
creating a cyle of tension.
curl up with a good book so that you can distract yourself on
your own terms from the intrusive thinking which results from
listen to music as a similar way of distracting yourself as
much as reading.
watch comedy where many years of scientific research has shown
the powerful impact of reframing our thoughts and physical stress
reaction through laughter.
This simple ideas are designed so you don't get caught up with
the external world too much that you forget to take care of
your own needs realise that nurturing yourself is in no way
a luxury at all it is a biological and mental necessity.
Set aside relaxation time by planning to include rest and relaxation
as a part of your daily schedule
Connect with others. In today's modern society for many there
is a growing sense of isolation so find and spend time with
positive people given how such a strong support system overcomes
the negative effects of day to day stress.
Plan to do at least one thing per day that you enjoy. Make time
for leisure time and include an activity which brings you joy.
This can be as simple an act as looking at the stars or peacefully
Keep your sense of humour and this includes the ability to laugh
at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress
in a number of ways.
ADOPT A BALANCED LIFESTYLE
health is open to everyone and at whatever age.
Exercise and any form of physical activity plays a key role
in reducing and preventing the physical side effects of mental
stress by releasing pent up stress and tension in the body.
Be aware of what and how much you are eating.
Keep a watchful on the amounts of alcohol you are drinking on
a regular basis or the number of binge drinking sessions for
whilst it can provide an escape from stress the relief is only
temporary. Such behaviour simply holds you in a circle because
you are only either avoiding or masking the issues. So deal
with these issues with a clear head.
Finally sleep is a reparatative process and also a time when
you connect with important pre conscious thoughts and insights.
So at both a physical as well as mental level the correct levels
and duration of sleep are crucial. However, during times of
increased stress arousal sleep can be a major problem.
this LINK for MORE INFORMATION ON returning to a regular SLEEP